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Easter Reflections

The spirit is willing, but the body is weak;

I muster up the strength, yet it seems to leak.

As you journey to death, I cannot be found;

But the death you are dying will loose my bounds.

No longer does sin reign, and run my life;

Instead I look to a day with no more strife.

This story of death seems like one of despair,

Yet this is the Father’s will, a display of His care.

In light of your love I should be inspired,

However, as I live day by day in sin I am mired.

In a world today that seems broken, crumbled,

The church, me included, seems to have fumbled.

As this day reminds us we have unrestrained hope;

We can all be cleansed by the blood-stained soap.

I am a man, You are the One that I seek;

but my spirit is willing and my body is weak.

So a couple of weeks ago I went with some friends to go and watch one of the major movie premieres of the summer…no I am not talking about Up (although that was great!), instead I am referencing Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen. I enojyed the action parts of the movie, the rest of the movie was pretty pointless. I really didn’t care for the rest of it to be honest, but there was one part of value that I saw. This shouldn’t be too much of a spoiler, but a former decepticon named Jetfire is rediscovered and reactivated by Sam in his quest to defeat the decepticons. Jetfire explains that he didn’t like the decepticons and what they were doing, so he fought for the Autobots instead. The interesting thing about this is that he still talks like an decepticon, looks like an decepticon, but on the inside his thinking (one might say character) has changed. This got me thinking about God’s transforming power, and how he can take all of us decpticons [the bad guys] and transform us into Autobots [the good guys]!

This phenomenon of transformation is not limited to Hollywood either, there are a lot of transformed people in the Bible. Let’s walk through a couple of examples:

One of the examples that I think of off the top of my head is the story of Rahab that is recorded in Joshua 2. You see Rahab was a prostitute that was living in Jericho. When two Israeli spies came to her and asked to use her house for cover, she not only took them in, but she hid them. God transformed her from a prostitute to an aide of Israeli spies and she became a key part of God’s Story regarding Israel.

During the life of Jesus there was a tremendous story in the life of a wee little man named Zacchaeus recorded in Luke 19:1-10. He was a chief tax collector in Jericho. This meant that he was incredibly wealthy. It also meant that he had cheated everyone in the city. One Bible commentary puts it like this: “The Romans farmed out the task of collecting the taxes in any particular area to the highest bidder. The man did not receive any salary for his work but collected as much money as he could so that he would have a handsome rake-off after paying the government the appointed sum”. So needless to say Zacchaeus was not exactly “Mr. Popular”. This is where the height thing comes in. Zacchaeus heard that Jesus was coming into Jericho and wanted to see who Jesus was, but he was short so he had to climb a sycamore tree. Jesus gets to the tree and tells Zacchaeus to come down, and tells him, “I must stay at your house today.” Woah! What? The Messiah just invited himself to the most hated person in Jericho’s house for the night! What a statement amongst a huge crowd! That is exactly how the crowd reacted as well! They all began to mutter then suddenly Zacchaeus says something: “Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount.” In that moment he was transformed by Christ! He was a decipticon that changed sides and became an autobot. He was forever changed. Let me put this in perspective for you. He ripped people off for a living! That is how he made money! And he said that he was going to pay them back four times over and give away half of his possessions! What a change!

Another example was the apostle Paul. He was born named Saul and was a Pharisee. He had everything he needed since he was born and seemed to have this religion stuff figured out. But then there was a fateful event on the road to Damascus that is recorded in Acts 9:1-19. Take a minute and read it. Saul, now Paul, goes on to do some pretty cool things. He shared the gospel on several missions trips. Oh and did I mention that he wrote a good portion of the New Testament?

So maybe you are thinking, “This is great. In the Bible people changed…but what about me?” Here is a story from my life of how God has changed me. When I was a freshman in college I was in a small group Bible study and I thought I knew it all! I could answer any question that was thrown at me, or at least that is what I thought! Turns out I was wrong about a lot of things. God has transformed me in that now when I am in studies I am willing to share an opinion, but I thrive on hearing other people’s interpretations of the passage! I am ok with being wrong, because I know and understand my identity in Christ. Because I have known God and allowed Him work with me and change me and my perspectives I am better off.

Let me tell you Christ canyou too!Here are some questions to reflect on to get you started in the transformation process. Think through each of them slowly and journal through them. Write as much or as little as you want, but spend quality time thinking about them.

God changes people through knowing Him and we know Him by spending time in the Word. Have you been spending time in God’s word lately so that God has the opportunity to change you?

Are you willing to let go of everything so God may change it all?

Spend the next few minutes praying that God will transform your life. If you have extra time read through the three passages again and continue to spend time in God’s word and listening to see if God responds!

The other day I looked in the mirror. I saw, what many other people see every day. A white male 6’1” and 235 pounds of pure muscle, and fat, and bone, but mostly just musc…ok you caught me, maybe it isn’t entirely muscle…I wish though.  Anyways…I also saw what many other people don’t see. I know who I am.  I know my past. I know my true character. I read in a book by Bill Hybels that someone once said that Character is “Who you are when no one is looking.” Think about that for a second. Think through your times alone in the last week…how do you spend your time, does it fit together with who you are when you are around others. I know that for me this is one of my biggest struggles. How do these parts of life fit together. For a long time this was a severe issue with me. When I was growing up I always knew how I should act around others, after all I am a smooth talking persuader, so generally I could get away with just about anything. In high school, I certainly struggled with this disconnect of who I was around other people and who I was when I was alone. You see, other people thought probably that I was totally living my faith out in high school. I was going to youth group every week. I had everything going for me. I had good grades. I played sports. I was close with my family. However, behind closed doors I was a different person. Throughout my high school and early college years I struggled when I was by myself. I felt lonely, like no one really cared about me. My compensation for that was turning to pornography. For nearly six years behind closed doors Satan had a hold of my life. He could and would twist my mind and distort things and really messed up some of my good relationships because of this issue. I really regret not confronting the issue of reconciling my behind closed doors me and the open me. This last year/right now for some of you this is happening before your very eyes. Maybe some of you knew nothing about it. Maybe some of you thought something was up, but weren’t quite sure what it was. Those of you who I was and hopefully still am closest with, it is a hard thing for me to tell you all of this. To let me secret life out. But at this point I am trying make the image in the mirror more realistic. I like the way the Hall of Fame Basketball Coach John Wooden puts it. He said, “Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.” What a great truth!

It is not all about me though. In actuality it is all for the glory of God and my attempt to follow His calling for my life. This reconciliation of the image that we know and the image that others see of ourselves is something that we are all called to do. Jesus talked often about what was on the inside, as opposed to the outside. I cannot tell you how many times I felt convicted when I heard stories about the Pharisees as Jesus condemned them for their outward appearence against their inner selves. One of the stories is found in Matthew 23: 25-28.  The NLT version of the Bible says:

“What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are so careful to clean the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside you are filthy—full of greed and self-indulgence! You blind Pharisee! First wash the inside of the cup and the dish, and then the outside will become clean, too.

“What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs—beautiful on the outside but filled on the inside with dead people’s bones and all sorts of impurity. Outwardly you look like righteous people, but inwardly your hearts are filled with hypocrisy and lawlessness.”

The Mesage paraphrase reads:

“You’re hopeless, you religion scholars and Pharisees! Frauds! You burnish the surface of your cups and bowls so they sparkle in the sun, while the insides are maggoty with your greed and gluttony. Stupid Pharisee! Scour the insides, and then the gleaming surface will mean something.

“You’re hopeless, you religion scholars and Pharisees! Frauds! You’re like manicured grave plots, grass clipped and the flowers bright, but six feet down it’s all rotting bones and worm-eaten flesh. People look at you and think you’re saints, but beneath the skin you’re total frauds.”

So what does this mean? To me this is a very convicting passage. It is all about the inside character against the outer appearance. Exactly what I struggled with for years. For years I dealt with knowing I was a whitewashed tomb…but I didn’t change. It impacted my relationships, if it impacted my relationship with you, I am sorry. I was forced to do things that I never would have done to cover up my addiction. Lying, withdrawing from groups among other things. It was just bad news. So how do we get out of this place of conflict?

The first thing that needs to be realized is that it is a process with many steps that will be different from person to person. Here is how my process worked. The general steps that I think apply to most people in reconciling their public vs. their private.

1. The first step for me was realizing that I couldn’t do it on my own. Understanding that I couldn’t solve this thing by myself was a huge leap. It also allowed me to humbly go before God and ask for His love, power and direction in my life!
2. Then I had to open up to people and tell them about what I was dealing with. This was something that was a huge struggle for me. It started with vauge admissions, that eventually turned into detailed accounts to trusted friends, to eventually sharing with you all here on my blog… It is scary to me that you will all know this about me, but I think it is a step that needs to happen. Part of this is developing a network of people that can hold you accountable for your actions as well. Having this support network was a key that I needed in my life. Sharing your secrets is one of the most liberating things in life! For me after I shared my struggles I felt like I was able to come before God and truly worship Him without the baggage and shame that I carried around for many years.
3. The next step was letting go of all of the dirt in my life and replacing the old habits of my alone time with new ones. These new activities often left me feeling much more fulfilled than my old dirty habits. Some of mine were reading, journaling, meeting up with friends, calling people, or even just playing a video game.  The point is I didn’t eliminate the bad stuff leaving a huge void in my life, I had something to fill the void that was left. It has enabled me to continue to grow away from old habits and not slip into them. This is one of the things that I have struggled with most.

If these three points are happening then you are en route to reconciliation of the public and private images of you, creating one crystal clear picture in the mirror. There are so much more I could write about here, but that’s all for now. To conclude, here are some questions to ponder as you step away from my blog today…

Are you a white washed tomb? Would you drink out of your own cup? Do you have a distorted image in the mirror?

Who are you when no one is looking? If there is a difference, what is it?

Where are you on the three steps?

Have you admitted that you cannot do it on your own? Have you told anyone about your secrets? Have you let go of the bad habits and replaced them with new ones?

This is a big issue, if any of you would like to call me and ask for prayers or just want to shoot me an email prayer request or facebook message. I would love to help you through this process! I invite you to start today, because it is an exciting life changing experience.

Is it scary to start? Yeah.

Is it the hardest thing that I have ever done? Probably.

Was it all worth it in the end? Absolutely.

I would encorage you, that if any of this is hitting a chord in your life that you would bring it to God. Spend some time in prayer, journaling, talking to others. However you process, I would again encourage you to think through this issue and give control of your image to God.

[another post from the devotionals I am writing]

Throughout high school I was never really the guy that had a girlfriend. In fact I never dated anyone from my high school. I seemed to be pretty good friends with girls, and could relate ok, but I was never the cool guy. Instead a few of my friends fulfilled that role. I pretty much stayed out of the dating game until I was a senior. And when I did start to date it was a girl that lived in Ohio (2 states away). At the time I would have told you that this was by choice, I didn’t want to date, because girlfriends were expensive and kept you from hanging out with your friends. But in my heart I knew that I would love to date a girl if the opportunity that fit presented itself. It never seemed to work out. I felt like I was getting gypped. Why could all of my friends date pretty girls, but not me. I was just on the side. A perennial third or fifth wheel. When I did date the girl from Ohio that wasn’t really the same. I mean we talked a lot, but how can you really go on a date. Our idea of a date was both watching the same DVD while we were on the phone with each other. It was kind of silly looking back on it. Reflecting on my time in high school I think that it had everything to do with God that I wasn’t dating anyone. There is no way that I was ready to date, I was immature, and had plenty of stuff on my own plate that I needed to deal with. Since college has started I have dated 3 girls. They were all fun! All of those girls are awesome girls! I enjoyed my experiences with them immensely! The breakups hurt, a lot! But in the end, they were great experiences and I have gotten to know people that I otherwise would not have because of those relationships. My point is dating is complicated. Relationships are complicated. The question is what does God have to say about dating? Let’s have a look…Just open your Bibles to…wait… the Bible actually never says the word dating or courtship? While this is true, it doesn’t mean that God doesn’t have anything to say about dating or courtship.

First of all, being single is ok. In fact, Paul writes that in his opinion, “It is good for a man not to marry”. In 1 Corinthians chapter 7 he continues “I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.” Basically in this chapter Paul is saying that as far as relationships go, we need to do what fits us best. If we can be single that is great, because we can give our full attention to God. However if we cannot remain single it is ok, because God created relationships and marriage, and if that is how we best serve God then that is fine as well. There is no cookie cutter answer here, it takes knowing ourselves. So what about those who want to date. What’s the deal.

While for some people singleness is the path that works for them, I tend to look at dating a little differently. I think that it is ok to date. In fact, dating relationships can be a great way to learn about people and how relating works. Some of my favorite memories from my life have come out of dating relationships. So what are some guidelines for dating? I turn to Mindy Meier’s book Sex & Dating for some guidance here. She lays out some biblical guidelines better than I ever could write them. The following section is directly from her book (pgs115-118). I have added the Italicized script.

• God should be your first love. This one is pretty basic. We are called throughout scriptures to put God first. It is in the Ten Commandments, Jesus says it is the greatest commandment, etc.
• Give your love life to God. Letting God be in control is something that is very hard. I know for me it is getting even harder as I get older and friends have gotten married. But it is the truth God has a plan for us and if that plan includes being married or being single we have to be ok with it!
• Learn what kind of person you connect with best. One way to do this is coming up with a list of must-haves and deal breakers. Maybe they have to be a Cubs fan (I have considered making that one of mine). Whatever they are you shouldn’t “settle” for someone. The most important thing is that we should be dating only a growing Christian. In 2 Corinthians it says not to be yoked with nonbelievers.
• Invite outside guidance and feedback on your relationship. This important, especially if you are like me and you make decisions based on feeling instead of thinking logically. Either way it is good to invite others to be a part of supporting your relationship.
  • Parents. This may seem weird, but usually parents are a pretty good source of wisdom when it comes to relationships. It will definitely be uncomfortable at first [believe me I have done it], but not only is it beneficial to your dating relationship, but also your relationship with your parents. Plus your parents would probably get really excited about sharing their wisdom with you.
  • Siblings.  Many times siblings know us even better than our parents do. This means that they can bring up questions and make points that maybe your parents can’t.
  • Pastors, or other older people from church. These people have great wisdom, and can offer priceless advice. Plus they can help hold you accountable for your relationship, ensuring that your relationship is consistently serving God.
  • Friends. Again your friends see you in environments that your parents don’t. They know a different aspect of your personality. They can answer questions objectively like: Is this relationship benefiting me?
• Commit yourself to sexual purity. This is one that I STRONGLY SAY. Develop boundaries for yourself BEFORE you start dating. Once you are dating and you want to develop a set together that is great! If you are wondering what that looks like I would be more than happy to share some past relationship guidelines with you.
• Be cautious about giving your heart away. The way that I would put this is for you is not using the “L” word yet. The word I am talking about is “Love”. It is a major commitment to tell someone that, and really it should be saved for the person that you are going to marry. If you use it too soon, it cheapens the word. Trust me here. I am speaking from experience.
• Pray. This goes back to letting God be in control of your relationships. Ask God to guide you toward fulfilling His will with your relationships.

So after all of that, here is the rest of my story. Right now I am single. Not in a relationship, and I am learning to be ok with being single. It is a hard thing for me, but I know that it is God’s will that I am single. I think that until I am comfortable being single and I am not consistently thinking about dating, I will not be ready to mingle. And that’s just fine. Who knows what God’s plans are, all I know is that His plans are far better than my own, even when it comes to relationships, so I am going to go with Him.

For those that have never dated anyone, relationships and friendships still matter. The first steps are just being friendly. Many people have a tendency to withdraw, sit alone, etc. This is like wearing a HUGE Do Not Disturb sign around your neck. Although you may want to talk to people, the sign that says “come hang out with me” is covered with the other sign. So what can we do to work on this? Mindy Meier suggests the “S and S” method. This means “Smile and Speak”. Whenever you are walking around at school or at youth group or other extracurricular activities, try just smiling and saying “Hi” to start. It may seem awkward at first, but it will become more natural and the benefits are immeasurable.

In your remaining time you can journal and pray through the following questions:

Have I invited God into my relationships? What role does he play? Do you trust His plan?

What are my boundaries? Both physically and emotionally.

What does my must-have and deal breakers list look like?

If you are in a relationship, are others giving you feedback?

If you aren’t in relationship and never have been[or even if you are], do you “Smile and Speak” to others around you?

[This is a post that comes from a High School Camping Trip with the Youth Group I am working with.]

As guys our society often suggests that we are not to have emotions, and if we are, they are supposed to fit into a tight list. This list includes: agression, anger, pride, shame, sadness, lust, etc. Looking back at that list, its depressing. Seriously read that again…it sucks. Oh and don’t forget the exception. In sporting events you are allowed to cry and have joy after a championship game. Christianity seems to have a completely different set of expectations when it comes to emotions for males. The perception is that the perfect Christian guy is tame, happy [all the time], confident[but not boastful], humble, cheery, enthusiasm, caring, compassionate. This leaves us in the middle often confused of what we are actually feeling. Because we spend so much time thinking about what we are emoting, we end up just gretting frustrated and the only emotion that seems to come across is frustration and anger.

I am reminded of a toy that I used to have growing up. Stretch Armstrong. Basically the point of this thing was that me and at least one other friend would pull on Stretch’s limbs and as his name suggests he would stretch out. Now the one thing about Stretch is that he supossedly went right back to normal when you let go. Well it was more of a slow process. In fact, I probably had about 3 Stretches in my childhood, because they would crack open and the syrupy liquid would come pouring out. We as young Christian males are stuck between these two titans of strength when it comes to emotions. One body builder is society and their expectations and the other the church and its own expectations. And it seems like we just don’t have any control. The truth is that we need to examine what the Biblical example of emotions look like. And what better place to find that then the Bible. Jesus was fully God and fully human, what better example to look to for what emotions should be. Here is what the author of Hebrews had to say about the emotions of Jesus.

“For we do not have a High Priest Who is unable to understand and sympathize and have a shared feeling with our weaknesses and infirmities and liability to the assaults of temptation, but One Who has been tempted in every respect as we are, yet without sinning.” Hebrews 4:15

Jesus understands our emotions, because he has experienced them. So in re-examining what the Bible, instead of people, say about what emotions a few things become clear. First of all, we are in control. We are not Stretch Armstrongs…that’s actually the point, we are called to have self-control. As long as we have control over our emotions, and they don’t have control over us, then it is ok to feel them. So how do we deal with our emotions and gain control over them. I think there are three good steps to take.

First, Acknowledge intial responses. Don’t tame your emotions. Don’t hold them back. Feel joy, sadness, etc. It is how we were designed. God gave us emotions for a reason.

Secondly, express your emotions. Let them flow. It is ok to be mad, Jesus was (Matthew 21:12-13). Its ok to question God, Job was famous for that. The point is emotions are ok, they are in fact good! As long as they are undercontrol they are awesome. If it is sadness that is completely fine. “Jesus wept.” (John 11:35).

Thirdly, discuss your emotions with someone else. Yes I know this sounds girly, talking about our emotions, but guys from my experience this works. Knowing that you aren’t alone, whether it is in emotions or actions or whatever else is such a good feeling. I have four or five really close friends that I know I can share anything with. Let me tell you processing through things can be good. Sometimes this can be a third party, but a lot of times it takes having a tough conversation with the person we are dealing with.

With the rest of your time go through some of your favorite Bible stories and find all of the emotions, list the emotions and look at the wide range. If you don’t have favorites or don’t want to spend time looking them all up go through the life of Jesus and look at all of the emotions that he felt.